Undertow (Swim Away)
You carved out my heart
But I sharpened the knife
Betrayal turned into control
When you begged for forgiveness
Sacrificed my dreams and desires
Thought I could love you, and you’d change
Enabled with love, while reason atrophied
Second chances disguised as compassion
You could smell loneliness
Like blood in the water
Caught in the undertow
I saw your fin approaching
But didn’t have the self esteem
To swim away
Undertow (Swim Away)
Re: Undertow (Swim Away)
Me thinks jabble
that you should take
the knife you sharpened
Cut the tow rope
And swim away
With your hearts desire
Because you are the only one
You can change
that you should take
the knife you sharpened
Cut the tow rope
And swim away
With your hearts desire
Because you are the only one
You can change
Re: Undertow (Swim Away)
If I was in that situation I would. This poem isn't personally based on my life, I just wanted to poetically explore issues of codependency, and it is easier for me to write from the first person perspective.
Re: Undertow (Swim Away)
i really enjoy your poems jabble and will only return to ones that turn in my head when Im away from my computer,jabble524 wrote:If I was in that situation I would. This poem isn't personally based on my life, I just wanted to poetically explore issues of codependency, and it is easier for me to write from the first person perspective.
This one interested me particularly as I know about codependency and have been working with it for many years.
I think its as much about power as its about codependency.
On a slightly differnt note ( but maybe connected ) I read a great few lines from Marcel Proust-today which made me laugh out loud in a coffee shop. He says that nervous men ought always to love , as the lower orders say ' beneath' them so that their woman have a material inducement to do what they tell them .But the danger of that kind of love he says is that the womans subjection calms the man's jealousy for a time but also makes it more exacting.After a while he will force her to live like one of those prisoners whose cells they keep lighted day and night.to prevent their escaping.
Re: Undertow (Swim Away)
Thanks. I appreciate you taking the time to read them. Jealousy is a strange emotion. A little jealousy can be flattering, too much jealousy can be suffocating, all jealously is rooted in insecurity.
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Re: Undertow (Swim Away)
Wow powerful ending!
Re: Undertow (Swim Away)
Thanks. Creatively, I liked the idea for an ending where the character couldn't escape their doom.