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Hello all of Cumalott [is it two or one 't's, by the way?.. I think it started out as two, but maybe that's changed]..

I've just experienced the kind of weekend one needs some down time to recover from.. I'm not just talking about alcohol, either..

Now this was to be a sort of "film weekend".. my young [twenty-something] architect cousin being something of a film fanatic (our having that in common).. and so and he brought a digital projector [we used a sheet for an inside screen.. so we had an image about seven feet wide], and each of us in attendance had some dvd's of films we thought we'd offer for viewing contention.. He and several of the guests didn't arrive 'til midnight on Friday, apparently due to what he called my overly "poetic" directions I sent him via email.. I'm usually good at such things, but for some reason I was distracted with all the preparation work I was doing.. and.. well.. maybe I was being a bit vague, in fact.. (though I appreciate being called "poetic").. so they wound up going over the treacherous (rather cool) Bear Mountain bridge.. (which is utterly in the wrong direction, as it happens).. ANYWAY.. they arrived at midnight.. and my crazy cuz convinced us to start watching the first film at one a.m. that very night.. I suggested we start with Liliani Cavani's The Night Porter.. (some of which I've posted here.. a light little ditty with Dirk Bogard and Charlotte Rampling).. It met very favorable reviews.. only by Saturday I was starting my weekend with only two hours of sleep, as I couldn't much sleep after that.. (I tend to get over-involved with that film, as it happens)..

.. well, the next day we ventured into Mel Gibson's The Passion.. (it's just some homework I'd been meaning to do).. the viewing of which consists of being met with, well, two hours of pure torture (!).. (well, at least I've gotten that viewing experience out of the way, then).. My cousin, meanwhile, had other forms of torture in store for us.. a series of shorts by artists -- their take on pornography, as it happens.. of course, their "take" on pornography is pretty darn close to being pornography.. and.. tell you the truth.. if I see never see another close-up of a, um, blow job.. it won't be too soon.. You see, I do need a bit of.. well.. allusion, I think.. (as it happens).. Some of these flicks were rather interesting, though.. Oh God, one of them [kw-- uh, baby bond] was this sinister looking dude making very good use of a, uh, three-input blow-up doll.. The lighting used was a strobe.. and because of that, five minutes into this flick you start to feel like a mind-control victim.. that poor little dolly, though.. I mean.. she never stood a chance.. [oh, god -- was that sinister dude Henning???????]..

.. Oh, we also saw a self-written-produced-acted-directed film, that has a cult following as likely being the very worst film ever done in a "serious" vein.. (it was not meant as camp, in other words).. astoundingly bad, repetitive, melodramatic.. in all, quite funny.. but surely we could have spent our time watching something else (???????).. Oh, and as the antidote to The Passion, my cousin brought ANTICHRIST.. Lars Von Trier's recent flick.. which I truly wanted to see.. only I felt I needed to go to the aid of someone who left the house [into the night] after being traumatized by the film's opening sequences.. (and I hear the film only gets worse).. (she had an issue, it seems, with killing off young children)..

.. so.. missed this antidote to The Passion because of that..

.. AND DON'T GE ME STARTED ON WHAT HAPPENED WITH APOCALPYSE NOW [see MUCH LATER NOTE below] [oh, and therefore try and discount most of what I'm about to say here, given such further illuminating revelations].. which, of course, I insisted my cousin watch, since he'd only seen Coppola's more recent REDUX version.. (which I've already written my diatribe on earlier in this thread)..

.. now, I just have to get this off my chest..

.. okay.. so.. here you have the most recent packaging of Coppola's famous or infamously famous film “Apocalyse Now”.. which [allegedly] includes his 1979 [original] version of the film, as well as his [cough] 2001 “Redux” version..

.. okay.. so.. we started watching the 1979 “original” version of the film.. now.. I did start to feel a bit queasy about things fairly early on in my viewing experience.. but maybe it was.. hmm.. fifteen minutes in, and then I was SURE it was not the original edit of the film.. the edit of the film that came out to rave reviews in 1979.. LUCKILY.. I had my own version of the film on hand, before it had been tampered with..

HOWEVER: to present the original 1979 edit in the latest packaging of this material as BEING the original, without informing the [in some cases, cinephile-obsessed] viewing public that it’s been re-edited.......... is a dishonesty [in every respect of the word] that I am still coming to terms with.. It would be like Conrad re-writing Heart of Darkness (after its first editions had already been around for decades).. and not telling anyone that it was in fact a new version of the novella in later editions..

* MUCH LATER NOTE: I HATE TO HAVE TO ADMIT THIS, BUT.. it's not Coppola's re-packaging [and re-editing] of his 1979 version of the film that's at issue, so much as the, well, utter carelessness of my crazy cuz and his minion side-kick (who was running the digital projector).. as it seems, though they swore to me otherwise.. but it seems we were actually watching the REDUX version, after all.. which would have become abundantly clear later on, only, I had them stop the madness, so to speak, early on in the game, and, well, we resumed with MY version of the original edit, and so.. well.. I was left with this rather dire misconception.. of course, ALL OF THIS CHANGED, ONLY JUST RECENTLY.. when I went to assess the problem with this re-packaging of the original, and found out that it was, in fact, "untampered with".. so: that's the GOOD news.. (oh, my due apologies to you, Mr. Francis Ford, for questioning your integrity concerning this)..

.. STILL.. I have one more thing to gripe about concerning this new packaging.. Now, instead of it having the Redux version on one DVD and the 1979 original on the other, it has the first half of both on one DVD, and the second half of both on the second.. Brilliant, right?.. I mean, given that, at the very least, if one DVD were lost or destroyed, you'd still have ONE WHOLE FILM left to view, while, this way, well, you only have ONE HALF of two.. (great).. However, MY THEORY CONCERNING THIS.. is.. well, Coppola obviously realized that the only way he was going to force this Redux [let's face it: crap] down our throats was to make sure you had it stuck to the original like a goddamn siamese twin.. I mean, lest the disgusted cinephile just throw the Redux version out, never to be bothered with that putrid goose egg again -- BUT NO.. now you have to at least have it around.. toying with your mind-- or, of more concern -- young people's minds, who are easily misled on these things.. (I mean, do you really think my crazy cuz cared which version he was watching??.. as Dennis Hopper's stuttering-photo-journalist-jester would even be able to articulate: NO. And therein lies the REDUX)..

.. [sorry, Cumalott, for my going on about this, but I’m hung over, and needed to get through this somehow]..

.. ANYWAY..

.. in the meantime..

imaginary friend wrote:OMG VIOLET!

Strumpet & Pink delicacies are exquisite!

I think they should become Cumalot's official secret weapon...

Violet, I fear you have been too long in the tower. Your ever-fertile imagination seems to be merging Leonard and His Lordship into the same entity...

Violet wrote:.. do you think it's an "L" word thing??

v. x

You know, I.F.. for alotalot of reasons, I prefer my life here, up in my tower at Cumalott.. over “out there”.. where spoiled over-fed winery-imbedded filmmakers underhandedly try passing off counterfeits as originals.. and seem incapable of understanding or assessing what their own talents are, and their good fortune in having a brilliant editor on hand.. (once upon a time, when A.N. was first being post produced)..

.. as to the “L” word front..

.. check this out.. not only are these both “L” words.. there is also this phenomena.. [watch closely]..

LEONARD.. yes.. L E O N A R D.. has the word “Lord” contained within it (!)..

.. so.. I guess we all know (given the instruction I’ve given on such matters in and around these parts) just what this must mean.. and so I’m hesitant to say more..

.. so.. for now..

Bye, I.F.. by all.. I shall return to the burning issues of Cumalott (or Cumalot) soon.. after I decompress a bit..

Sweet Princess Violet (flower).. xx x


.. [Violet returns up top her tower, lying down, while putting a damp cloth on her head, to ease her throbbing pain.. then slowly.. with much difficulty.. she sits up.. taking out some vellum.. (it seems the queen has set her up with some new supplies).. and she commences to..


My dearest Lordship,

I miss you.. and am again contemplating our little tropical get away..
Now, that would be to get out of my tower.. and yet.. it would still be
to get away from this mad mad world masquerading as -- oh, I don’t
know what..
.. so.. I shall look into this a bit more copiously, perhaps.. since.. well,
who knows what’s to come..
.. but for now.. I am again wondering what my purpose is.. and art, in
its striving for something beyond what is given us, usually, in day to day
existence, speaks to me of some veiled [sometimes] sort of hope, maybe..
This film I especially like, and wonder if you’ve ever seen it.. it’s a
courtroom drama that contains the very best performance by Paul Newman
on screen.. No “acting” here in evidence (as is very often the case with
Newman, I find) given the director, Sidney Lumet, was apparently able to
have him find in himself this place of utter loneliness and desperation..
There are scenes in this film where Newman reminds me of my father,
actually.. that part of my father that had seen hope through reason, and..
a form of idealism, maybe.. if the best of ideals in us are in fact obtained
through reason..
.. this first scene discloses the emotional frailty of Newman’s character..
I do appreciate his predicament, in fact, as I do feel this lost at times..
I do wonder where it is within myself I might find the courage to.. overcome,
I guess.. even when so very panicked.. so very sure that all is lost..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goNVHG7q ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. in this closing courtroom summation, it is without hope almost that
Newman [Mr. Galvin] is reaching for something that, rationally
speaking, he is unable to see with any clarity, at this point.. Is it true:
we’ve only to trust in ourselves?..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVZFlBJftgg
FULL SCREEN..

I do wish you were here..

.. ever,
your v i o l e t (stem).. xx x

Missed you violet..

Did someone mention blow jobs?!!!!!!

Kissy K
xxxx

Oh and the spelling of Cumalott/ Cumalot keeps changeing because Lady K couldn't spell if her life depended on it!....

Just for you kwills....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSddgYKtPBE

Kissy K
xx

He had a great voice did Orbison.

He and several of the guests didn't arrive 'til midnight on Friday, apparently due to what he called my overly "poetic" directions I sent him via email.

omg that made me laugh as it's so you dear V. - poetic directions, love it but then I wasn't driving trying to follow them.

Sounds like you had a fantastic weekend princess Violet strange doll porn movies and all.

.. hi Kissy K.. I've missed you guys too, especially about mid-way through some of the torture I was exposed to over the weekend..
.. oh, and Queen Cate.. don't think you can infiltrate based on my "poetic directions" tendencies.. that just ain't gonna happen.. I mean, I can get a grip if I need to.. (occasionally).. (if I put my mind to it, I mean)..

.. speaking of:

.. kw-- uh, baby bond.. we're upgrading from that lousy Humpty Dumpty cannon routine to "precision bombing".. now, here's your first tutorial.. Remember: we'll be needing you to excel at this since we're targeting the lovely vacation homes of the remaining MI6 cretans, some of whom own small island estates off the South of France..

.. [Lady Kis-- uh, Agent Orange: once he's ready for action, you'll need to trail 'im (as usual).. make sure he keeps out of trouble and makes all his targets].. Oh, and, kw-- uh, bond.. the devil-worshipy music seems to go with the territory.. don't let it throw you off.. Remember: we're the GOOD guys..

.. oh, and as the tutorial indicates.. precision bombing seems real easy.. (I like your shades, by the way)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhvQ_z2okg0
FULL SCREEN..

Signing off: M.

SVP(f) / ‘M’

Did someone slip something in your tea over the weekend? …Just asking because you seem to have entrusted baby bond with another bombing exercise! (don’t you remember the last one?)

And as for trailing him once he’s ready for action (Excuse me while I fall off my stilettos laughing)…Not in my wildest dreams can I imagine him ready for action!!!!!
But as an Agent I am bound by my duty to follow orders, (actually I’ve got to see how badly he ucks this one up)… Oh when you say trail him…would it be ok if I stay quite a distance behind him…Bond and Precision bombing Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! … Does anyone know where I can buy a Flak Jacket?

By the way I have noticed Baby Bond seems to be bumping into a lot of things since he got those shades…

God and I thought the last mission was bad!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVtoztPJMoM

Kissy K (Agent Orange/ Pussy G)
xx

Harrumph! How dare you agent Pussy three way blow up doll! Code name Mad Cow or was that Brown Cow?

I'll show you all ! SPV,M,Boss will be so proud of me when I accomplish this mission with abomb..I mean aplomb!

Oooh three way blow up doll!...you're on top form tonight!

I was just pointing out you previous disaters...er...Missions.


That was a brilliant play on words by the way....

Pussy G.(Kissy K)
xx

.. well.. to you two, for the moment: carry on spying..


.. [Violet, again up top her tower, and looking rather done in, actually.. sets about writing yet another --


Dearest,

I'm exhausted, having been tortured all weekend (though I no
longer remember what for).. this, followed by my rising at
4:30 a.m. to get back to Gotham, where I've been working hard
all day..
.. actually, I've been re-evaluating things, and think I have a
plan b., which I'm now starting to put into action.. sorry to be
so mysterious, but it's best I keep things under wraps for now..
.. anyway.. I really just wanted to give you a little good-night kiss..
now, why you're not joining me in my room, I have no idea.. we
could re-do that part.. I mean, you could turn around at the end of
the hallway, and sneak back into my dark room without anyone
noticing anything "untoward".. (I will already be in bed, of
course, wearing one of those S&P numbers you recently bought
me as a little surprise gift)..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6rPikqC ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..
.. ever,
your passionate v i o l e t (stem).. xx x

Hi Friends,

Well recovered now from my Leonard experience ( thanks to the lovely Lady K..she carries out her duties so well ). It takes days, if not weeks, to recover from seeing and meeting G-D, and even then you can never quite feel that you'll get over the experience ever. It WAS that good!!

Dear Queen Cate, i hope you have been looking after the kingdom while i was gone and keeping those subjects in order and hope you didn't miss me too much!
There seems to be a lot of underhand activity going on, with all these secret agents and buildings being blown up!

Poor Princess V, Tell me, who has been torturing you??
You seem to have been getting quite a lot of it recently!!
You'll have to tell me all about 'The Antichrist'! Did you enjoy it?

And Kwills, or special Agent whoever, the last time i spoke to you, you were Sir F.......
Your Big O glasses are not a very good disguise if you are thinking of carrying out any more spying missions with Pussy G.

Talking of Pussy (or the Lovely Lady K), thank you for helping me recover in that KIngdom of Londinium in that tavern, think it was called Ye Olde Dog and Duck or something like that.
There is a lot of revellry and debauchery going on in that kindom and i know we felt obliged to participate at times.
Just as well there are no cctv cameras yet invented or i fear i may lose more than my kingdom!!
And you would have to spend the rest of your days tending your allotment and looking after the sheep in the rolling hills beyond!

But alas no, we have returned safe and sound back to Cumalot and i hope you can continue to carry out your duties as normal...i think Queen Cate suspects nothing! Do you my lovely All Seeing Queen Cate?

Your Safely Returned
King G.

Greetings, King G.. uh, your Majesty, I mean..

Good to have you back, as I'm sure the kingdom is now in good hands.. (or at least your sword is)..

When you're done with being polished, however, you might proceed with some caution.. else you could be polished off yourself (mefears).. I mean, things are not what they seem around here.. treachery abounds.. (etc. etc.)..

As to Von Trier's ANTICHRIST, I'm afraid I was unable to view it myself, as I was tending to the traumatized.. (he's not for everyone, as it happens).. so.. will have to amend that soon.. Von Trier is a very sick puppy (that much I know), and while I own he is some manner of auteur, to me he's more of an aggravant than someone I celebrate.. Now, as to whether this film in particular suggests he is a necessary aggravant, I shall keep you informed..

.. oh.. Lady Kis-- uh, Agent Orange: I've been thinking that what you need are combat stilettos.. and [as is often the case with the internet] I found out they actually do exist: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... tStilettos

I also thought you should have double F combat cups.. (which might be pictured here as well)..

.. as to kw-- uh, baby bond.. let's look in on how his training is going:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS8p_GkWPp8
FULL SCREEN..

WOW!.. what's amazing is that baby bond bon is actually GOOD at this!!.. (who knew??)..

.. oh, and.. Queen Cate.. I guess we still need to do tea some time.. OH WAIT.. we were doing tea, when I somehow got side tracked with panties, as I recall.. (I love it when that happens).. so, we'll have to re-convene.. but maybe we should at least add a bra and slip this time..

Signing out:
S.P.V. "M" (fl.).. [xx]..

.. my Lordship... I'm still holding on to this waning gossamer thread of heaven, just in case the Gods of Love decide to help us out.. I do hope all is well with you.. my own life is really the pits at the moment.. that's all I'll say for now..
ever.. your v i o l e t (stem).. xxx x

Gerry wrote:Hi Friends, ....
.

Hugh - oh oh. It's the KING!!! ... oh crap
Henning! Milk Maid! quick under the bed.... no, no in the closet

'Coming King G"

Hey!!! - Henning hands off my maid!!! you cold at least wait for me to get back

"I'm Just getting my wig on dearest"...

okay - milk maid under the bed - Henning into the closet- Go on, into the closet or no tower blueprints for you!!!

<scamper up the steps - flushed cheeks>

King G. I'm soooo glad you're home <kiss to cheek> safe and sound, back to yourself again!!!
Did you bring me a present?!!!
... what were you saying about me suspecting - It must be something good! is it in your pocket?

~~~~

Violet wrote:
.. oh, and.. Queen Cate.. I guess we still need to do tea some time.. OH WAIT.. we were doing tea, when I somehow got side tracked with panties, as I recall.. (I love it when that happens).. so, we'll have to re-convene.. but maybe we should at least add a bra and slip this time..

oh heck, it's much cooler here now lets go the whole kit and Kadoodle and wear our best velvet gowns and tiaras.
~~

Cate wrote:"I'm Just getting my wig on dearest"...

.. wait, Henning wears a wig???.. (hmm.. what would his Lordship think)..

Cate wrote: King G. I'm soooo glad you're home <kiss to cheek> safe and sound, back to yourself again!!!
Did you bring me a present?!!!
... what were you saying about me suspecting - It must be something good! is it in your pocket?

.. it's either in his pocket, or he's just happy to see you.. [single drum punctuation]

Cate wrote:

Violet wrote:
.. oh, and.. Queen Cate.. I guess we still need to do tea some time.. OH WAIT.. we were doing tea, when I somehow got side tracked with panties, as I recall.. (I love it when that happens).. so, we'll have to re-convene.. but maybe we should at least add a bra and slip this time..

oh heck, it's much cooler here now lets go the whole kit and Kadoodle and wear our best velvet gowns and tiaras.

.. good, it will be easier, then, to wire me-- uh, it will be quite lovely, then.. I mean, with the nice gowns 'n such.. [did she say something about blueprints of the tower????.. why, that cackling, dastardly.. kw-- uh, bond baby??.. we may need to add the queen's quarters to your precision bombing exploits.. let's discuss. M.]..

Violet wrote:

Cate wrote:"I'm Just getting my wig on dearest"...

.. wait, Henning wears a wig???.. (hmm.. what would his Lordship think)..

I don't think so - although he might have one, they're very popular in palace fashion magazines. I meant me ... I'm a queen, in fact I'm a queen cate ... so I must have a wig - a puffy one with very cute curls I think.

~~

.. good, it will be easier, then, to wire me-- uh, it will be quite lovely

ummm Violet - are saying you want me to use wire on you ... I think we should just stick to the silk ropes as they're less likely to hurt you (always remember I.F.'s mantra) ... also that's more a private thing ... not really a post it publicly on the forum thing...