relook at Book of Mercy

[lazariuk]

When your son touched everything, was it very quickly? When I picture it, I picture him doing it gleefully and quickly.

Yes that is exactly how he did it. On his own he flew through something that I had a thought I might have to drag him through.

So who's your 'he'?

Not sure who you are asking, but I will try to answer. It is like I am remembering someone who I didn't wait for. Maybe someone who could have been a friend. I have found that no matter how much a panic I can get in by hearing the news that it is much easier to take by hearing it with or from a friend. I feel that the he being spoken of in this poem is the person speaking but to me it seems that it would be more beautiful if he was also speaking of an other.

[Manna]

So who's your 'he'?

Not sure who you are asking, but I will try to answer.

Same here. My first thought was God, but then you get into the whole God issue. Sometimes, God might be the best of me. Everyone does self-talk, and it can look a lot like prayer, especially if you're talking to the best part of yourself. And of course, that part can talk back too.

I like that 'he' can be the best part.

[abby]

I meant everybody now, who's your 'he'? My mom liked to think that we choose our parents. It was a neat and loving idea to entertain with her, and without her.

Abby

[lazariuk]

I meant everybody now, who's your 'he'? My mom liked to think that we choose our parents. It was a neat and loving idea to entertain with her, and without her.

It seems to me that a very compelling argument is being made that the he could very well be a father.

For those of us born in mothers and not conceived through some kind of divine intervention one thing that we all have in common is a father. Leonard does refer in this poem to the time when he was born and that could very well be where he is starting from. If you have to start somewhere, being born is probably as good a place as any to start.

It doesn't make "I stopped to listen, he did not come" any clearer but I want to consider it for a while and hear what others have to say before letting go of the idea.

[lazariuk]

This past week I got to do something that was fun and very simple yet it was hard to do.
I gave an english lesson to some people who only spoke french. English was the only language that was spoken. To really be of any use I had to really imagine what it would be like for them and not think so much about the words that I knew but more what words we both knew and how to expand from there. At the same time I knew that if it wasn't fun for both me and them likely we wouldn't get very far.
I'm not sure how I did. It was the first time I ever gave english lessons but there was a lot of laughing and I think we all did have fun.
When I think of this thread and this book and the idea of going through it with other people I think the process could be similar with each taking turns being on the side that others need to make themselves simple for. Something about the book seems to invite that, maybe because Leonard spoke of it as sunday school material. I wonder what sunday school would have been like if all the kids were there but no teacher other than each other and a book?

[Manna]

I stopped to listen, but he did not come. I began again with a sense of loss. As this sense deepened I heard him again. I stopped stopping and I stopped starting, and I allowed myself to be crushed by ignorance. This was a strategy, and didn't work at all. Much time, years were wasted in such a minor mode. I bargain now. I offer buttons for his love. I beg for mercy. Slowly he yields. Haltingly he moves toward his throne. Reluctantly the angels grant to one another permission to sing. In a transition so delicate it cannot be marked, the court is established on beams of golden symmetry, and once again I am a singer in the lower choirs, born fifty years ago to raise my voice this high, and no higher.

He says he stopped stopping and stopped starting, and that it didn't work. And this sounds like a beginning, though not a cheerful one, one begged for by him, and eased into begrudgingly by the other.

I am familiar with this kind of slow beginning. My husband and I fell in love after we'd known each other for several years, and were quite familiar. And there isn't one moment, or one change that I can say this meant love had begun. I knew his touch before his touch held personal meaning.

But the analogy stops where Leonard says, "this high, and no higher." Maybe he's looking at something I don't want to look at yet.

[lazariuk]

But the analogy stops where Leonard says, "this high, and no higher." Maybe he's looking at something I don't want to look at yet.

Hi Mandy
Glad to see you in sunday school. You are so much fun to play with.
Now that we are here without a teacher you probably don't have to look at anything that you don't want to look at.

When I see those words about beng born to raise my voice no higher it reminds me that my voice is changing and I can't hit the higher notes any longer. I noticed that the teacher would often praise you for your high clear voice and that would make me feel bad. It took me a long time to tell you this because I kept thinking that this is some kind of a trick and that the teacher was going to appear. I would sometimes try to tell you but before I could get the words out I stopped to listen. Adults can be such a drag when they are telling us how we should be looking at things. They seem so stupid, instead of adults, one of my friends says we should call them a dolts. Do you think they will allow us to study this book on our own and with other kids without adults telling us how we should be thinking?

I hope you had a nice Valentines day, by the way

jackie

[Manna]

Hi Jackie.

I don't know who the he is, but a friend of mine said that we can call him Will. Will has lots of toys, and Will lets us play with his toys. My friend also can sing higher than I can, but she said that it doesn't matter where you sing. Yes, the teacher praised my high voice, but it isn't the highest, and he praised the low voices too. My friend and I sang in very high voices today, and in the lowest ones we could have. Will's voice is higher than either of ours, but I don't think it always will be.

[abby]

2
WHEN I LEFT THE KING I
began to rehearse what I would say to the world: long
rehearsals full of revisions, imaginary applause, humili-
ations, edicts of revenge. I grew swollen as I conspired
with my ambition, I struggled, I expanded, and when
the term was up, I gave birth to an ape. After some
small inevitable misunderstanding, the ape turned on
me. Limping, stumbling, I fled back to the swept court-
yards of the king. 'Where is your ape?' the kind de-
manded. 'Bring me your ape.' The work is slow. The
ape is old. He clowns behind his bars, imitating our
hands in the dream. He winks at my official sense of
urgency. What king, he wants to know. What court-
yard? What highway?


Can you see any reason to entertain the thought that the king could be the 'him' of the first psalm? In the first one, L. writes that 'haltingly he moves toward his throne.' Kings sit on thrones, right? Leonard left the king, maybe he made a mistake.

Abby

[Manna]

Maybe the ape is the 'him.' Maybe an ape would love to have some buttons to play with.

[lazariuk]

Hi Jackie.
I don't know who the he is, but a friend of mine said that we can call him Will. Will has lots of toys, and Will lets us play with his toys. My friend also can sing higher than I can, but she said that it doesn't matter where you sing. Yes, the teacher praised my high voice, but it isn't the highest, and he praised the low voices too. My friend and I sang in very high voices today, and in the lowest ones we could have. Will's voice is higher than either of ours, but I don't think it always will be.

Hi Mandy
That sounds pretty good to me - Will. Because your friend seems interested in Will's toys I guess Will must be a little Will and not a big Will. I also like that little Will seems to like playing because if there isn't a lot of playing happening here I don't think I will stay.
I was wondering how someone could be crushed by ignorance and I know that we don't have any adults here to teach us and that we don't want any, I couldn't see any other way to learn anything about ignorance other than through an adult. So I hope you don't mind that I asked one.
I have a friend named Jack who claims to be kind of an expert on ignorance. He says that he has never met anyone as ignorant as himself, he even said that his first french teacher gave him the nickname ignoramous. He seemed very happy to be asked to talk about his ignorance, so I asked him "How can someone be crushed by ignorance, it doesn't make sense to me?" He told me that it made perfect sense to him and that he was so in touch with ignorant that it happened to him over and over again. He said that his invisible friend was gravity and that when he tried following his friend he kept meeting things, like the planet, at their surface. He said that ignorance told him that gravity would get bigger below the surface and he believed that and would start digging. He told me that that was ignorance speaking because gravity does not increase when you get below the surface and closer to the center of the planet or anything else. All that you get for digging is a bunch of stuff above you that can crush you. You get yourself in a pit. He did seem to know ignorance pretty well and did seem to be in some kind of pit and so I think I should pass on to you the last thing he told me before i left him. He said "Stay at the surface, the surface is fine, there is no need to go any deeper."
So maybe this Lennie guy is looking for his friend Little Will and tried to find him by digging below the surface of things and did that for a long time, and it didn't help.

Jackie

[lizzytysh]

Your thought processes are very charming, Jackie.


~ Lizzy

[abby]

I'm sorry I ran ahead. Next time I'll ask where we all are so that we can move through this together.

I'd like to get to know Will better. It's really hard for me to stay at the surface but I'm willing (haha) to try. I'd like to experience what it feels like to not be crushed. I'm trying that out in my life too. All my terminal seriousness I'm dropping into the bay now but its ectoplasm might show through now and then and for that do you think you could excuse me?

Right action is urged by the alignment of the big and little Wills. Too serious still.

Let me try again.

Here comes Manna's friend's friend Will. Hi Will. I'm Abby. I've never been very good with kids. Do you think you could take it easy on me? No. All kinds of serious.

Once more.

I can smile at you guys, even at Will. There. Much better.

Abby

[lazariuk]

I can smile at you guys, even at Will. There. Much better.
Abby

(((((((((((( Abby ))))))))))))

I'm smiling too and laughing.

Jackie

[Manna]

I can smile at you guys, even at Will. There. Much better.
Abby

(((((((((((( Abby ))))))))))))

I'm smiling too and laughing.

Jackie

Ditto that for me.