relook at Book of Mercy

[lazariuk]

Could it be that he is trying once again to be like he was as a child and the he that he speaks of is this child that he got separated from?

[lazariuk]

I can't help but feel that this first part has something to do with children. maybe the trying to crush oneself with ignorance is trying to understand what a child would mean by adults being stupid.

I told my niece last night that I was feeling like I remembered a time when I was a child and could see that adults were stupid. She repled back to me "Jack they are not adults,
they are 'a dolts'

[Manna]

Could it be that he is trying once again to be like he was as a child and the he that he speaks of is this child that he got separated from?

Doesn't this thinking contradict what you were saying about not need to know Leonard to make use of his book? Jack, I know that you make a conscious effort to try to think like a child. And if you can find help with that in BoM, then bang on. But be your own man about it, eh?

[lazariuk]

Doesn't this thinking contradict what you were saying about not need to know Leonard to make use of his book? Jack, I know that you make a conscious effort to try to think like a child. And if you can find help with that in BoM, then bang on. But be your own man about it, eh?

I also said just a short while ago that I don't think we need to know what Leonard was reading to understand it and then right away I started writing about a book called "War of the Buttons" I guess I feel that I need books but Blessed are you who don't. AS I dare to be naieve , I won't take your buttons if you don't take away mine.

[Manna]

if I give you lots of buttons, will you love me?

[lazariuk]

if I give you lots of buttons, will you love me?

If I get more than I need then someone else will not have theirs

[Manna]

if I give you lots of buttons, will you love me?

If I get more than I need then someone else will not have theirs

luckily, it's not the same with love.

[abby]

I was struck by the difference between trying to crush yourself with ignorance and allowing yourself to be crushed by ignorance, and was tempted to point out why they're two different things. Then I started thinking about my own experience and came to the conclusion that they're the same thing. Though Leonard writes the latter, I think it feels like the former. Either way, he fails and so do I.

I haven't had much success with meditative endeavors, the kind of thing that involves letting go, whether of thoughts in the moments of the breath, or of reasons for why things are the way they are. How close can we get to letting go? Does it ever happen? If we beg, do our chances increase? If I give up everything I have, will life become a little bit easier?

So now the thought is that 'he' is from childhood. I'm not sure whether you mean a friend from childhood or the childhood version of himself. Do you think there's hope for encountering the world as a child? I don't think so. I think that everything that's happened in the meantime necessarily makes whatever childlike attitude we're able to adopt richer and more complicated. But maybe there are instances of not carrying around all that we are.

Do you guys think it's possible that 'he' could rightly be decided by the reader? It seems less important to me that we have the same 'he' than that we both know what it's like to be waiting like L. is. Maybe 'he' is man to me, as opposed to woman. Probably less romantic. Certainly we've all ached for someone, and maybe a lot of us have someone in mind that we'd go to if we were seeking mercy.

Abby

[lazariuk]

Do you think there's hope for encountering the world as a child? I don't think so.

Yes we can.

[jimbo]

00

[abby]

What does encountering the world through the eyes of a child look like? Say, to someone watching you do it. Or what does it feel like when you do it? It sounds like a good thing so if there's any trick you might have I'd like to try it out. When I look at the stars in wonder of their mystery, is that childlike? Or is wonder something else?

Abby

[lazariuk]

What does encountering the world through the eyes of a child look like?

It probably looks like children.
That might not be the answer you are looking for.
I'll try others.
I once saw Bucky Fuller speak at McGill university in Montreal. He was about 82 years at the time and he was introduced by both the head of the Art's Dept and the head of the Science Dept They were much younger than him and in their introductions they made some comments each to show that their respective dept was better than the other. When Bucky started speaking it made such a deep impression on me how old it made the other men seem and how young he seemed. It was peculiar to watch. He has mentioned that it was a very hard thing to do but that he got reconnected to the child that he was born as.

One morning I woke with a single thought "What does it mean to be awake?" I found that the more I focused my thoughts on what was real in my world the more awake that I became. Then I started wondering why I was thinking that certain things were more real than others and asked myself if I was really focusing my thoughts or were they being focused for me by what I had been told for so many years were the things that I should be thinking about. I tried to remember when I started thinking what other people told me I should be thinking about and decided that it was when I was 5 years old.

So I started trying to remember what I was thinking about before that when I was 4. It wasn't easy but then it came about that I got to spend the day with my son who was 4 at the time and I let him help me a bit and falling into a 4 year old mind frame was very much a falling in love. The day will remain for as long as I live one of the most interesting in my life. The following is something that I once wrote about it and thought it suited in a childlike way Leonard's poem called "The Sweetest Little Song"

In one tiny moment of that day I was laying on the carpet with my little
four year old boy filled with tender love for him and curiousity of how we
were going to get him to walk through my apartment that was filled with
toys and stuff and get him to descend the stairs and put on his runners so
that we could continue our wonderful journey through parks, playgrounds
and streets.

Though we both loved these travels greatly I had no wish to in any way
force him pass all the distractions of my apartment and so i shared my
dilema with him and wondered aloud what we should do. Then I suggested
that we should make a game out of getting to that door and the game being
that we would go to the door without touching a single thing along the
way. In my apartment that would mean having some of the skills of a
tightrope walker. Then I proceeded to lead the way demonstrating my
skills.

Then when Jacob started his walk, the beautiful little boy changed the
rules and went to the front door touching everything along the way, every
single little thing. Like a stone going through water he got to the front
door and we headed outdoors on our wonderful adventure.

I can describe the moment but I will always be at a loss to let you know
the feeling I had when I watched him cross the space of my apartment and
also how much light that little incident shed on the totality of my life
when I subquently meditated on it in my solitude. The incident happened
with my son but the truth in it was in the heart of every relation I have
ever had.

Out of what I thought was my deepest wisdom I had an idea of how something
should go and tried to make it go that way, but who I loved had his own
way and when he went his own way my love went his way too. It is easy to
love my son and easy for me to see the way he is going. It has never been
that easy for me to see and love the female who is so different from me
and the wonderful door that love opens and allows is an experiencing love
from the other side. Slowly very very slowly I stopped thinking of it as
a battle, stopped thinking of it as the victory march, stopped thinking
that one had to surrender to the other and as I did I saw that love was
there shining and I could experience it from her side, from her mystery.

Those are the sweet things that I think about when I look at a picture of
a man seeing himself as a woman and speaking the words.
You go your way
I'll go your way too

I snatched a few moments on someone's computer to dribble this out.

Jack

Jacob and I went for a long walk in the cold rain yesterday and we were so
happy and we were singing

Let the sun shine in
Take it with a grin
Open up your heart
and let the sun shine in.

we changed some of the words around a few times

I felt somewhat childlike that day Abby. Does that point to anything that can be useful to you?

[Manna]

One thing I know about children is that no matter what kind of reality they are thrown into by circumstance, they accept it as normal and real. When we experience childhood, we accept it as the way childhood is, even though every childhood is different.

Even severely abused children often love their parents very much and don't want to be separated from them.

[abby]

Jack and Manna, what you've said about being a child has helped immensely. I want to thank the both of you, and jimbo, for your help.

When your son touched everything, was it very quickly? When I picture it, I picture him doing it gleefully and quickly.

I was wrong when I said I didn't think we could encounter the world in a childlike way. Like a blessing come from heaven, for something like a second, I was healed and my heart was at ease- I found myself doing the closest thing to that that I've ever done just the other day after I said I didn't think it could be done. When I don't get wrapped up in my thinking, it's so clear that being at home in the world has everything to do with being at ease in whatever situation you find yourself.

So who's your 'he'?

Abby

[lazariuk]

Even severely abused children often love their parents very much and don't want to be separated from them.

It leads one to think that children choose their parents.