leonardcohenforum.com

Johnny, on the subject of Kaiser Chief lyrics, or rather the lack of them, my standout one is "Oh my God I can't believe it, I have only written half a chorus".

p.

Manna wrote:We old timers have a few things that don't really count as lyrics, since these tunes have no words, but here are some funked-out titles:

1. Push that Pig's Foot a Little Farther into the Fire
2. Nail that Catfish to a Tree
3. Hey Little Girl Don't Fly so High, We Just Might See Your Butterfly (This one is actually a song, but no one has ever been willing to sing it to me.)
4. Indian Ate a Woodchuck
5. Bonaparte in a Mexican Restaurant

A lot of those titles sound like Frank Zappa song titles. I mean we can get into hilarity for the sake of hilarity, but still not much of "worst song lyrics" type of thing going on with this.

And to johnny7moons, you mentioned an Iron Maiden song. That reminded me of some of Anthrax's music. I know they wrote a song about Judge Dredd; and this was about the comic books, before the movie ever came out. It's pretty ridiculous. Then they have another song called "Indians." The song is cool but the words are just sooo bad. I can't imagine why some '80s metal band would want to write a heavy metal song in defense of Native Americans, especially when the music video for it shows them performing the song live while a band-member runs around the stage with an Indian headdress. It made me laugh. Here are some lyrics:

"FORCED OUT - Brave and mighty
STOLEN LAND - They can't fight it
HOLD ON - To pride and tradition
Even though they know how much their lives are really missin'
WE'RE DISSIN' THEM ...

Cry for the Indians
Die for the Indians
Cry for the Indians
Cry, Cry, Cry for the Indians"

However, I've got another Cohen diddy to add, and I wouldn't presume it to be second-rate at all:

"And those who dance, begin to dance
Those who weep begin
And 'Doo-wah-diddy, diddy-dum, diddy-doo" cries a voice
"Let all my guests come in."

Teratogen ... I just hoped for another Cohen diddy - that's a great one!

I've got another one, too

When you've fallen on the highway
and you're lying in the rain,
and they ask you how you're doing
of course you'll say 'Doo-wah-diddy, diddy-dum...'


Manuel

Great!

I agree with David about 'I've never been to me'.
BTW it's by Charlene (a good Aussie name, similar to Shiela)

"I've been undressed by kings
and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'pose to see
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...

but you know what truth is?
it's that little baby you're holding
and it's that man you fought with this morning
the same one you are gonna make love to tonight
that's truth that's love"

It is on Playstation Singstar (I have kids, that's my excuse) and after a few drinks (or not) you can grab the microphone and explore the full emotional depth of those lines.

I would also nominate the entire lyrical content of 'Escape (The Pina Colada Song)'.

What's wrong with the Pina Colada song?! It's about some guy who gets bored with his wife and puts an ad in the paper for a girl who is into pina coladas and dancing in the rain, among other things, and when a woman answers the ad he finds out it was his wife! it's kinda sweet, in a way.

Teratogen wrote:What's wrong with the Pina Colada song?!

OK some of the lyrics already quoted in this thread are just unintelligible or silly. Really I would say they are relatively harmless, not going to hurt anyone.

'I was tired of my lady, we'd been together to long'etc is bad on so many levels:
1. it sticks in the head like an advertising jingle
2. it is sweet enough to make you gag
3. it conjures pictures of a really bad B-grade movie you never want to see
4. you must never, never call a female you even remotely like 'my lady'

But you knew that already didn't you Teratogen?

In the same category is 'Afternoon Delight'.

Sorry, folks, but I have not read this thread, I saw the header, and thought: "Seasons in the Sun". I do understand it's a Jacques Brel song translated, at least in part, by Rod McKuen; it was Terry Jacks that made it really putrid. If someone grabbed this stinker first, good on ya!

I said to Hank Williams, "doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo".
Hank Williams hasn't answered yet.

Even though she sleeps beneath your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say, "doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo,"
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

Naturally, I'm the one who loves "First we take Manhantan, then we 'doo wah diddy, diddy dum diddy doo". It's quirky but I still like it.

johnny, twice again you score!

linda_lakeside, you're right - First we take Manhantan, then we 'doo wah diddy, diddy dum diddy doo is great!

I've another one:

I said, Mother I'm frightened
The thunder and the lightning
I'll never come through this alone
She said, doo wah diddy diddy dum ...
And the night came on
It was very calm
I wanted the night to go on and on
But she said doo wah diddy diddy dum again

Manuel

ha, ha, bloody ha!

Fabulous! I've come back just in time to hear someone blaspheming one of my all time favorite Leonard songs (Night Comes On) with doo-wah-diddies! Leave it to partisan to start such a thread! And, while I've been tickled by, and agree with many of the posts, I have to admit to being just a tiny bit disappointed. We're going for all time worst song lyrics here, right? And, while, yes... adding doo-wop sounds to any Leonard song could make it bad... why go inventing things, when they're already out there for us? Have none of you heard MacArthur Park? "Someone left the cake out in the rain..." or Muskrat Love... or let's be honest... Jazz Police! "Throw another turtle on the fire. Guys like me are mad for turtle meat..." In addition, I must defend Nick Cave. The ..."passed a cow and the cow was brown..." lyric worked for me in that song, because the subject is obviously some sort of mental patient wandering outdoors in his jammies. I can go with the "Never Been to Me" arguement... yes, bad lyrics. More syrupy and trite than anything... but MAN when I was in 7th grade did I LOVE that song. Hey guys, thanks for the smiles... and thanks for letting me play along.