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next verse Doron.

Yes, sir. It sure is time.

II.48
Awaken, me, lord, from the dream of despair, and let me describe my sin. I would not fall into the bewilderment to which your name invited me. I established a court, and I fell asleep under a crown, and I dreamed I could rule the wicked. Awaken me to the homeland of my heart where you are worshiped forever. Awaken me to the mercy of the breath which you breathe into me. Remove your creature’s self-created world, and dwell in the days that are left to me. Dissolve the lonely dream which is the judgment on my ignorance, and sweep aside the work of my hands, the barricades of uncleanliness, which I commanded against the torrents of mercy. Let your wisdom fill my solitude, and from ruin raise your understanding. Blessed is the name of the glory of your kingdom forever and ever. What I have not said, give me the courage to say. What I have not done, give me the will to do. It is you, and you alone, who refines the heart, you alone who instructs mortals, who answer the trembling before you with wisdom. Blessed is the name of the one who keeps faith with those who sleep in the dust, who have saved me again and again. To you is the day, and the conscious night, to you alone the only consecration. Bind me, intimate, bind me to your wakefulness.

This is a relatively long piece, and full of fascinating allusions. It begins as a prayer of the old, sinful king, the composer of the Psalms, “the baffled king” who is “composing Hallelujah”. Here too, as in the song, the poet and the king are one and the same. He is praying for being saved from the ugly reality he created with his own acts, and being allowed a clean start.

This is one of the most purely Jewish pieces in the book (if such a distinction is at all possible), full of allusions to the Prayer Book, and to the Kabbalah’s symbolism. For example:

Blessed is the name of the glory of your kingdom forever and ever. - This is taken verbatim from the Shema, the most important part of the Jewish prayer recited twice daily with one small but important difference: “your kingdom” instead of “his kingdom” in the prayer.

Blessed is the name of the one who keeps faith with those who sleep in the dust, - This is also a verbatim quote, from the Amida, the part of the prayer recited three times daily.

And once again we find here the Kabbalistic symbolism of the Sefirot, mentioned in our discussion several times before. The top three of the ten Sefirot are Crown, Wisdom, and Understanding, mentioned here in this order.

The piece ends with the double repetition of a verb which I’ve always considered especially important in this book: “Bind me”. Let me quote a few earlier examples:

I.10 “You bind me to my fingerprints, as you bind every man, except the ones who need no binding.”

1.14 “Blessed are you who binds the arm to the heart, and the will to the will.”

II.35 “Bind me to your will, bind me with these threads of sorrow…”

II.41 “Bind me to you, I fall away. Bind me, ease of my heart, bind me to your love.”

(See also I.16, II.42, II.45)

The binding of Isaac, the binding of the Teffilin (phylacteries) on the arm next to the heart, the binding of man and women… I feel that this repeated mantra “bind me, bind me” reflects the wish, felt throughout BoM, for commitment, for staying on the chosen path. It is perhaps the same need that sent LC later to a monastery for the sake of finding discipline, but at the time of writing these lines, it is mainly the wish to remain committed to his heritage. And yes, several other meanings can be read into it.

There is so much more to say, but not enough time, so I’ll sign off quoting, once again, those beautiful lines, where “bind” and “will” come together as in BoM:

And draw us near
and bind us tight,
all your children here
in their rags of light;
in our rags of light,
all dressed to kill;
and end this night,
if it be your will.

Hi Doron,

Nice connection to the Jewishly rooted source material for this passage in your post and nice example
of the material turning up in "If It Be Your Will." Leonard, the artist, would find material connected
with humility, isolation/loneliness to speak/influence him. Most artists wouldn't, at least not to the extent of
the depths/heights that Leonard allows those concepts to work within him. As a further aside by me,
the "conscious night" words speak to both suffering/darkness and awakefulness in a personal/artistic
sense. The awakefulness of the Buddha comes to mind, as he was/is known as "The Awakened One"
and was said to have taken this capacity of awareness into the times he was sleeping. It is said that
the Buddha was even conscious when he was asleep. -- Betcha there's a melding here of the Jewish
and Buddhist learnings.

Perhaps the “bind” word is another word for “union”.
‘Bind’ says it all. It is intimate. It suggests a union that is almost impossible to break.
The ‘binding’ would suggest that this perspective is given rather than discovered independently; and hence the ‘humility’ you point to Steven. It makes sense to me that the ego drops away when one acknowledges that their journey is dependent on divine interaction/intervention.
As you point out Doron and Steven, he seems (in this verse) to be moving towards tradition, by binding himself to the prayers you informed us about D.B. and those Buddha moments Steven mentioned.
His individualised search for meaning and union was despairingly difficult. Tradition dissolves the ego and disciplines the mind and he often alludes to the benefits of this type of surrender; as in this verse from “That don’t make it junk”

“I tried to love you my way,
But I couldn’t make it hold.
So I closed the Book of Longing
And I do what I am told.”

“Blessed is the name of the one who keeps faith with those who sleep in the dust, who have saved me again and again.”
‘…who have saved me again and again’ Here he is valuing the input of the writers of the past, long gone yet still assisting.

Hi Mat,

I like "union." It suggests that the yoke is shared between man and God. Yes, "bind" does work nicely to make the
union inseparable. I understand what you mean by tradition, here, and agree.* About "saved me again and again,"
was thinking that this wasn't referring to "those" writers, but to him. Read the line as containing an implied "you" --
God doing the saving. But what you said could be right on target. I read the line as meaning that there's a
process of salvation that requires a resaving, unlike the Christian concept held by many Christians that once
there's a saving, there's no possibility of losing it. You are probably right, as what you said is consistent
with the usage of "have" a plural that could include writers and not the singular "God." I missed what you
caught.

*In other contexts, traditions can be linked to ego elevation. Even Amish are said to sometimes feel
haughty in their expression of plainness, Christians can feel..., Jews can feel...., Moslems can feel....,
Humanists can feel...

“Awaken, me, lord, …”
“lord” with a lower case “l” in lord.
I would expect a capital “L” in Lord if Leonard was referring to his G~d.
This begs the question: Is he referring to the g~d within? (The Atman rather than the Brahma; as a Hindu might put it.)
‘Awaken (comma) me (comma) lord (comma)’ again this structure of the use of three commas is rather unusual and when read carefully, could be interpreted as
“I aim to awaken in me that aspect of myself which is lord.”
Or; as Jesus the Jew puts it, “I and the Father are one.”

Maybe I am barking up the wrong tree, but those commas seem to be leading this verse somewhere off the beaten track; from the
‘dream of despair…and…bewilderment …in a… self-created world…which I commanded against the torrents of mercy…to
Your kingdom…your understanding…your wisdom…
It is you who instructs…refines…answers; to you is the day…to you alone the only consecration.’

Bind me, intimate, bind me to your wakefulness.

Does Leonard refer to his g~d here as ‘intimate’? ( echo’s of songs of Solomon) or does Leonard mean that he wishes to be “bound intimately beyond the conscious night of forgetfulness” so to speak, in order to be constantly awakened?
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell
If it be your will
To make us well
and draw us near
Oh bind us tight


And why the ‘conscious night’?

"…and end this night
If it be your will,
if it be your will."

(...and awaken me.)

As you pointed out Doron, "If it be your will" seems to run parallel with this BOM verse.
and the Zen awakening, awaits, Steven.

Hi Mat,

Perhaps the "L" in lord is not capitalized to represent the poet's acknowledgement of not being in that
complete union with God -- the unawakened state of a not yet messianically fullfilled complete
knowledge of God, and also the less than Buddha-like state of not being fully enlightened.* The
breath reference, has both Jewish and Buddhist connotations -- in the former, God breathed life
into Man -- in the latter, breath is used as a grounding means and meditative focus, both as tools
towards hoped for enlightenment. I like the Talmudic assiduousness by which you've noticed the
use of those commas. The articulation of those three (awaken, me and lord), as set apart by those
commas, could be to emphasize the god within, or a trinity-like unification, as you alluded to by
Jesus' quotation about being one with the father. I'd guess that Leonard is both speaking of
intimate and permanent -- that messianic kind of thing where there's a total unification, a
lack of separation, cognitively, knowledge-wise and on a heartfelt level. "conscious night" could
imply a "holy" accomodation to pain and difficulty in both the Jewish and Buddhist traditions (though, granted,
"holy" wouldn't ordinarily be a word attributed towards this kind of acceptance in Buddhism).

* Taking some liberties, I am, in linking a theistic name with the "void" of a non-theistic
belief system. Maybe the poet is too -- the license of poetic entitlement?

Friends,

About “Lord” being capitalized or not, I owe you an explanation and an apology. The fact is that in the two editions of the book I have (Jonathan Cape, London, 1984 and Black Spring Press, London, 1994, which are identical), the first four or five words of each prayer, which are printed from the middle of the first line, are all in upper case, and in this case: “AWAKEN ME, LORD FROM…”. So it was in fact my decision not to capitalize “lord”, because I felt that as with “the name” or “you” (and we discussed this a few times before), LC often does not capitalize, and I wanted to be on the safe side. Also in the last line of II.44 we find “lord of my life”. However, on rechecking now, I found that in I.22, 23 & 29, “Lord” is capitalized. So there is no sure way of knowing whether in this case “Lord” or “lord” was intended.

Looking up Stranger Music could have solved the problem, because in it there is no first half line in upper case; however, the selection from BoM in that book comprises of a selection of 21 out of the original 50 prayers, and II.48 is not one of them, unfortunately. The selection includes: I.1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 21; II.27, 28, 31, 32, 33, 37, 42, 43, 45, 49, 50 (and we should probably discuss this selection sometime).

Turning now to the Italian translation, which is a bilingual edition, I see that II.48 begins “Awaken me, Lord, from…”. I don’t know which edition they used, but they may have got it right. If so, I apologize for creating a misunderstanding. But as we’ve said a few times before, we should probably not read too much into capitalized/uncapitalized words

Hi Doron,

Thank you for the explanation and apology. Scribes and typesetters... they've led us astray.

“AWAKEN ME, LORD FROM…the nightmare of Doron's transcribing.”

"Awaken, me, lord, from the dream of despair, and let me describe my sin. I would not fall into the bewilderment to which your name invited me. I established a court, and I fell asleep under a crown, and I dreamed I could rule the wicked. Awaken me to the homeland of my heart where you are worshiped forever. Awaken me to the mercy of the breath which you breathe into me. Remove your creature’s self-created world, and dwell in the days that are left to me. Dissolve the lonely dream which is the judgment on my ignorance, and sweep aside the work of my hands, the barricades of uncleanliness, which I commanded against the torrents of mercy. Let your wisdom fill my solitude, and from ruin raise your understanding. Blessed is the name of the glory of your kingdom forever and ever. What I have not said, give me the courage to say. What I have not done, give me the will to do. It is you, and you alone, who refines the heart, you alone who instructs mortals, who answer the trembling before you with wisdom. Blessed is the name of the one who keeps faith with those who sleep in the dust, who have saved me again and again. To you is the day, and the conscious night, to you alone the only consecration. Bind me, intimate, bind me to your wakefulness."

"...the only consecration."

"Consecration" (in Catholicism at least) occurs at the moment in Holy Communion when the priest raises the "Bread" and the "Wine" and symbolically turns those two forms of sustenance into the body and blood of Jesus. The Holy Spiritual aspect of God (Bread and Wine)blends with the human being and this blending process is Creator driven (Christos) unifying with the person's body (Bread to body) and blood (Wine to blood). Mystic to man/man to Mystic.
Symbolically speaking, 'Bread' being the food ('sustenance') that sustains life and 'wine ' being' liquid divine ideas, (the holy water )that sustains the mind, the Spirit and therefore one's Soul. Through this Christification process, mystically speaking, the individual becomes "one with the creator"; "I am Who AM".
This is the mystic's goal and purpose in life.
The Jewish terminology used in the Christian tradition is amplified here in this verse, yet it needs to be re-cognised and remembered that these are Jewish symbols in the main and in essence pre-Catholic.
Leonard seems to me to be focusing on what I might call "the Jesus/Jewish perspective" in this verse of Book of Mercy. This perhaps is Leonard identifying with another Jew (Jesus) and taking on his understanding/gnosis and acknowledging it's poetical, mystical accuracy.
A Hindu would use slightly different cultural symbols to extract this "moment" from mystery. A Buddhist (like Roshi) would use different symbols again and an Australian Aboriginal would use different symbols again.
But the 'moment' they are singing of, is what Leonard calls here 'consecration'.

...my trans-interpretation-poem (re-working) of this fascinating verse, rests below.


Be my body; Be my blood. (consecration)

"...let me describe my sin";
Let me show how I miss the target, again and again
By judging from my conscious night of ignorance
This dream of despair

Release me from this ignorance
These tendencies to judge
…this judgement from my ignorance is a lonely dream; a disorientation.
Dissolve this lonely dream in ignorance
This poetry of mine
Dissolve my words
And let me start again in silence
In solitude.

Not my ideas
Not my words
...But you,
You refine my heart
You awaken in me occasional understandings;
It is not I who teach myself
But you,
You teach me
when I can be silent enough to listen.

The prophets trembled
And so do I
There, among your wisdom.
Unify and bind me intimately to that wakefulness of yours;
Your merciful wisdom.

Awaken in me a silence
Long and deep and still enough to listen and absorb
You; my only sustenance

Be my body; Be my blood.



MattryingtounderstandleonardcJ

Hi Mat,

You've nicely brought in a parallel to the transubstantiation/Communion ritutal. When the consecrator
rises above/transcends the mechanics of the ritual... That kind of spiritual full engagement isn't
absent from some rare current day practices of Judaism. In some Hasidic (Kabbalistic practices), there's
a channeling of all kinds of behaviors and motivations into a desired union with the Creator. Not
that you said otherwise, Mat. Would imagine that Leonard consciously or otherwise drew upon the
symbology and traditions of both religions. There's a book, "My Name is Asher Lev," by the late
Chaim Potok. In it, Potok created a fictional character, a Hasidic young man (of the last century),
who drew upon Christian symbology to express, in art, feelings of suffering, etc. He found those
symbols to provide the language of expression that he was seeking, though they didn't originate
in, and weren't acceptable, within the community of his origin. Leonard wasn't insular like that
Asher Lev character (at the start), but we all do find language via broadening of our life knowledge and
understandings.

Your reinterpretation is quality stuff, i.m.o. It would read better to me if the first two lines
were to begin with "As I," rather than "Let me."

Hi Steven,

You say:

There's a book, "My Name is Asher Lev," by the late
Chaim Potok. In it, Potok created a fictional character, a Hasidic young man (of the last century),
who drew upon Christian symbology to express, in art, feelings of suffering, etc. He found those
symbols to provide the language of expression that he was seeking, though they didn't originate
in, and weren't acceptable, within the community of his origin.

This is an interesting parallel. I suppose many of us find comfort in the stories and symbols of "other" religions, whatever that 'other' is for the individual.
When wandering through another tradition one can freely accept or reject aspects of it without the hang-up of inherited prejudices. There is a true sense of mature freedom in this position. There is also the opportunity to recognise potent similarities among various traditions and I always find this stimulating, intriguing and humanizing-ly uplifting. It encourages the understanding that we are all equal under the Sun.
I always feel more satisfied when I can find a similarity than when I find a difference, regarding the search for possible purpose and possible meaning. This verse of 'Book of Mercy' suggests to me that maybe Leonard does also.

Regards, Mat.

One before the last…

II.49
All my life is broken unto you, and all my glory soiled unto you. Do not let the spark of my soul go out in the even sadness. Let me raise the brokenness to you, to the world where the breaking is for love. Do not let the words be mine, but change them into truth. With these lips instruct my heart, and let fall into the world what is broken in the world. Lift me up to the wrestling of faith. Do not leave me where the sparks go out, and the jokes are told in the dark, and new things are called forth and appraised in the scale of the terror. Face me to the rays of love, O source of light, or face me to the majesty of your darkness, but not here, do not leave me here, where death is forgotten, and the new thing grins.

This time I’m not going to be the first to comment (although there are obvious Kabbalistic content and biblical allusions here).

I’d love to hear various suggestions on what this “new thing” might be.

Hi Doron,

"new thing," could be an allusion to a perversion of holiness and an anti-Christal (I just coined this term) figure
and representation. Not that there's anything really new under the sun. The "new" could be a modern incarnation
of the old. I'll probably just leave it at this.