This is an updated version of one of my old poems.
Atrophy
At first we could barely keep our hands off each other
But time is a powerful venom
That causes romance to atrophy
Soon we could barely stand to touch each other
We began to live separate lives
Shrouded our hearts in secrecy
Veiled our feelings in shadows
And wore smiling masks in public
We became unconscious architects of our inferno
An unresolved argument here
A failed chance at communication there
Schisms that divide soul mates
Our hearts burned in selfish flames
We could hear the crackles, and smell the cinders
But refused to admit
That there was a fire
As I walked by the charred remains
Of a once vibrant romance
I realized why love and reason
Are enemies
Atrophy
Re: Atrophy
Hi jabble
I can almost hear and feel the singeing passion in this piece.
Great raw emotion.Phew
Love cannot catch us unless we stay in the unconscious room of our heart
and indeed Time has its own work to do.
Maybe if we let Love surprise us
There aint no cure for Love
And thats the Truth
I can almost hear and feel the singeing passion in this piece.
Great raw emotion.Phew
Love cannot catch us unless we stay in the unconscious room of our heart
and indeed Time has its own work to do.
Maybe if we let Love surprise us
There aint no cure for Love
And thats the Truth
Re: Atrophy
P S
Hi again Jabble
Reading your poem again I have a few questions or maybe comments
Now the word Atrophy -i think you should scrap that
Had you another word in mind
Or perhaps you could change it to A Trophy or better still 2 Trophys -! for each of you to exchange to mark the end of your 'romance'
And thats another thing -Romance isnt Love at all at all
the soul probably wouldnt have anything to do with romance
And there again was it Yates who said
" There is only one romance -the Soul's
Hi again Jabble
Reading your poem again I have a few questions or maybe comments
Now the word Atrophy -i think you should scrap that
Had you another word in mind
Or perhaps you could change it to A Trophy or better still 2 Trophys -! for each of you to exchange to mark the end of your 'romance'
And thats another thing -Romance isnt Love at all at all
the soul probably wouldnt have anything to do with romance
And there again was it Yates who said
" There is only one romance -the Soul's
Re: Atrophy
Thanks for taking the time to read and offer feedback. I truly appreciate it. I thought of a lot of different ideas for the title such as "wither, decay, fade away, wasted, etc" however I decided on Atrophy because it is synonymous with the aforementioned words, but also can spell A Trophy if a space is added. I felt this encompassed the underlying theme of the poem- two lovers whose romance decays (atrophy) because they start to view each other as possessions (A Trophy) instead of people. I agree that when defined in the traditional sense, a soul wouldn't have much to do with romance. However, I am personally not very religious, I'm pretty much an atheist, so to me, the soul is consciousness, thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas- so in this sense the soul could be applicable to romance. Anyways, thanks again for taking the time to read my poem.